Rediscover your authentic self

Learning to be your Authentic Self

Learning to be your authentic self gives so much freedom, tames your inner critics and grows self compassion and esteem resulting in feelings of inner peace and joy.

What is my authentic self?  I understood the concept of the question but I didn’t really understand what it meant on a deeper level.  The more I thought about it, the more I saw how it was woven into every part of my daily life whether I was in authenticity or not. What does that mean? How could I not be authentic if it was me living my life?  

Thinking back to many things I read over the years, authenticity, self esteem and self compassion were words often mentioned together.  I understood the meaning of these and knew there was depth beneath the words, but the deep comprehension eluded me.  Some people may have understood them on a deeper level which probably led them to a level of happiness I didn’t quite possess.

How do we stray away from our authentic self?  

We can lose authenticity when trying to please others before ourselves.  People pleasers learn to foresee problems, become good at fixing problems, agree with others and can lose their own passions or opinions giving way to others.  We may even make others happy in order for us to feel happy.  We can morph into whatever way is needed to fit in, becoming a chameleon.  When your happiness depends on others it is always undependable.  Living life like this can feel like a yoyo and you rarely feel in control.

How do we regain our authenticity?

Start getting curious (my favorite thing to do) about what really matters to you. This can take time to coax out as it’s been pushed aside for some time.  Continually observe situations even when you’re in them and see if it feels good or if it feels out of alignment with you.  If it feels good, it is probably in alignment with your authentic self and if it feels prickly, it is probably something that isn’t from your authentic self.  This is a trial and error area here so be patient until you get to know yourself better.  It then becomes apparent quickly and easier to connect.  

The other component to this is self compassion.  Personal growth will not happen without it. Simply put, you can’t expect yourself to feel good when you are beating yourself up.  Learning self compassion has been a game changer for me.  My self esteem and personal growth are healthier than it has ever been.

A bit about self compassion and self talk.  Becoming aware of how you talk to yourself is quite eye opening!  Think of how you would talk to a young child or a loved one.  We speak with love, kindness, support and non-judgment.  Sustained growth cannot happen with harsh criticism.  It may force change but the collateral damages are feelings of resentment and hurt that create other lasting problems.  It costs nothing to be kind to yourself.  You deserve it!  When you are consistent with this you will see your worth in a whole new light and it will transfer into other areas of your life.  These are some healthy ways to rediscover your authentic self.

If you would like to learn more ways or have me help you with your journey, book a free 45 minute discovery call to see what coaching can do for you.  Zero pressure and complete confidentiality.

With much kindness

Michelle Nesbitt

TNM Certified Coach   TIR Facilitator   Reiki Practitioner